For Example (Part 3)

Most writing challenges in writing are less literary than those we’ve considered thus far.  Take the example of a simple letter of resignation that came across my desk recently.  The (soon-to-be-ex-) employee drafted it like this:

This letter is to give you my 2 week notice.  I am no longer able to keep up with my LPN position, school and my commitment to Municipal Hospital.  I have had many incredible opportunities and will miss the nurses and other staff.  I am very grateful for the knowledge I have gained in the past four and a half years. 

Truthfully, this letter of resignation could be submitted “as is.”  It is perfectly adequate – probably better than most.  But it can, like most writing samples, be improved.  To wit, consider this revision:

With regret, I am resigning as a Municipal Hospital LPN, effective December 9, 2009. 

I will greatly miss everyone – my fellow nurses and managers, as well as the incredible support staff.  But I simply no longer can balance a full-time job with my college studies and home life. 

Thank you for the practical experience, knowledge and training you have offered in these four amazing years.  If I can ever be of assistance to you or the hospital in the future, please feel free to ask. 

Structurally, the revision is 20% longer, less direct, less simple.  But a letter of resignation is a document in which some degree of formality is expected and appropriate.  It states purpose, timing, rationale and gratitude.  The tone is complimentary.  Its final sentence offers the employer the option to continue the relationship in some less-formal manner (never burn bridges, never close doors behind you).  Finally, it is broken into three paragraphs, which will appear more “accessible” to the reader when physically formatted onto a page (studies show readers are more likely to read short one- or two-sentence paragraphs).

Philosophically, the revision attempts to strike a balance between friendliness and professionalism; it appears the working relationship was entirely pleasant, yet it needs to be recognized that the relationship was, at its core, a professional exchange of services for payment.

The letter should, of course, be properly addressed to the appropriate manager or personnel officer, dated (in part to document the two-week notice being proffered), and closed with a simple “Sincerely,” and a name/signature. 

Next: For Example (Part 4)

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